Parvathi Ratnam

Parvathi Mami: She is unquestionably the most superior human being I have seen in my life. She is 84 and her daily regimen includes yoga and pranayama for over 5 decades and she meditates at least for couple of hours a day. Each inch of that effort shows in the face: a long nose, sharp glowing eyes, small mouth, slight wrinkles around the cheeks, the face more gaunt than fatty but the eyes are most serene and placid. I have only seen her wear those flowing night gowns and there is nothing fancy about the person at least outwardly.

Mami is a third generation theosophists; her aunt was the famed Rukmini Devi Arundale and this is a family tree that has so many accomplishments. Their grandmother could have more likely been the first female jail warden or her uncle the first to fly a fighter plane for the Air force or someone in the family rehabilitating young widows. So for Mami having grown in the company of a Annie Besant or Jiddu Krishnamurthy is an everyday fare. These are superior genes and you can sense it from a distance.  

What makes Mami special for me is her sheer company. I am an old friend of the family and old couple – Mama passed away 4 years back close to 90- and they were interested in my tales; my frequent loss of jobs, my ambitions for overseas assignments or any passing fad at the moment. Mami was always reserved and never spoke a word out of context or even participated. She, by her very presence, exuded peace. I felt positive vibrations of peace in her presence as in a temple. Later she said: once the mind is rid of its agitations, it becomes very strong and a mere wish would come to fruition. Hers was such a mind.  

I used to have philosophical discussions with Mama and Vijay (their bachelor son) and Mami would just say a sentence and that would hit home. Yesterday, I was lamenting about how a Sindhi woman played with my emotions and how I may have to go through life without a companion, she said,” Sathya, we are always alone”. 

When a woman speaks so low and soft, so sensible, and so true; one feels a divinity in the air. After Mama’s demise, I have cut short my visits; my monthly visits have become an annual air. Mami would be either cooking or in her meditations and it would foolhardy to be an intruder. But each time, she would enquire,” How is your Mumbai sister? What about BPCL sister? How is your aunt’s husband faring after the amputation?” Her concern always sounds so inclusive and well-meant. 

The Gopalaratnams stays in the Theosophical Society Gardens. The house is huge bungalow with high ceiling and constructed before the First World War.  These are the kinds of structures that even governors don’t enjoy. The house is like an island with acres of trees and plants around it. The dogs would bark out of their skins at strangers. My last visit to “Besant Gardens” was Oct, 2009 when I went to gift my “Darling India” book.  That day the dogs had me for a meal and since then I don’t step inside the compound.  I have never been scared stiff -immbolized by fear - as when the dogs attacked me as a pack.

Mami has a much understated personality for a low profile; even at 84 she is the chief librarian of Adyar Library (one of the oldest and most esteemed in Theosophical communities). It is inconceivable to ever imagine Mami shouting or screaming or excited or trepidation. The mind has gone through all these phases and lives in its own solitude and peace. No face has reflected such divinity and peace and I pinch myself for my extraordinary stroke of good fortune to be talking to them or having coffee at their place.

Verdict: Sattwic

Lesson to be learnt: Just listen more in the presence and even a stray sentence from them could hold so many lessons.