Visalam Chitti

Visalam Chitti: She is my aunt by way of marriage to my paternal uncle, S K Moorthy. They squatted in our house for the first 5 years and so persecuted by their presence that my father took a transfer to Hyderabad and get rid of this nuisance monkey. In the 70s the families were still cohesive but my father – the eldest brother – found that the younger brother had no inclination to neither move out on marriage nor contribute to the kitty.  

Visalam was always viewed with suspicion in the family; she was from Kumbakonam and we were from North Arcot. People of that region are perceived as too smart in taking care of themselves and when in a fight, they can hold their own with the most virulent!! But in these years not once did she rock the boat but patiently swallowed the humiliations heaped on by my mother almost without demur.  

But once they went on their own, she started to assert herself. Her husband was just a meager earning factory worker and they saved each penny in buying a house on the outskirts of the city. The only child, a daughter was put through Veena and Carnatic music classes besides graduating from Presidency college, one of the most prestigious colleges in the city. If anyone could build a home from such scarcity, the credit is wholly Visalam’s.  

Visalam is short at 5 feet or even lower but though dark-skinned, her face was a bright spark in any gathering. She had a lean face, luminous eyes that shines through in the room, a long nose to complement the lean face, and lot of gravitas. She speaks in a commanding tone; a loud booming voice but distinct in its enunciations making for a very strong personality even in a crowd of strangers.

            She is extremely pious and the couple is devoted to “Gnanananda Bhajan” group that meet on the first Sunday of each month at the famed Narada Gnana Sabha and presided by the mercurial Swami Haridas Giri. His bhajans were intense outpourings of Bhakti and he rose to a cult status. Both the husband and wife were regulars and even part of his inner circle. One might not phantom this; belonging to this group is almost a fulltime occupation.  

Since we the “North Arcot” deserted her, she too served us back in the same coin. Visalam on moving out of their own mid-70s kept as far from her mother-in-law – my venerable paati – as possible. There was little mingling except a token presence for weddings and funerals in the family. Visalam had constructed her own world excluding us; she was forever busy on pilgrim trips and Bhajan concerts. When my father lay dying in the hospital, he effected reconciliation. It turned out to be a farsighted gesture; even as he was on to his last few breaths, Visalam started chanting “Skanda Sashti Kavacham” (the armour of protection of Muruga) and “Vishnu Sahasranam” and others joined in. He died to the sounds of Vedic chants.

Visalam has that knack of occasion and fearlessness to take charge. She could very argumentative and I have not known anyone ever winning a discussion with her. Whether you like or not, each time I see her after ages I can’t help notice certain auspiciousness about her.  

Post Script (2017): The couple reside in Pozhichalur; Gayathri the daughter is perhaps the smartest of Paati’s grandchildren. Her son and daughter are in the US. This is good instance of family progress over 3 generations: from a factory hand to graduate and now Ph.D in the land of milk and honey. The whole credit should go to Visalam.  

Verdict: Rajas

Lesson to be learnt: Be friendly and appreciative from far and never get caught in her mouth.