Anitha Laxman

Anitha: I used to a see a tall, healthy woman walk in Theosophical Society gardens in 1998. I had a huge circle of friends and we talked in a bunch giving free reins to our mouths. I would spot this woman in tracks cross in the opposite directions; we were close to finishing our walk and this lady just about to begin hers.

I worked for a small web development company and our main client was Citibank. Being the front-end of the account, I would frequently visit the plush offices of Citi on Shakti Tower. Those buggers at the bank would make me wait for hours on appointments. Waiting interminably in the sofas were so dispiriting and I saw this ‘TS” walker running around the premis es. We possibly must have locked eyes but I have no energy for fresh people.

I was a regular to the weekend lectures of Swami Paramarthananda and I would once again run into this figure. Still no acknowledgement or introduction! The woman was tall at over 5’ 8”, fair, hair like a cascade to shoulder length, pointed nose, and an almost typical Indian look. She was more than pedestrian in looks and if you watched the same face every day – like I did in TS- then that face began to grow on you.  

I introduced myself the first time at Vidyamandir; the lecture had gotten over and the people rushed out of a iron gate. I almost ran to arrest her stride and made a direct plea,” I have seen you in TS and Citibank. I believe you have referral system and I would be extremely grateful if you can get the contact details of people in HR”. She was gracious while introducing herself,” I am Anitha and I am a product manager at Citi. This is my visiting card and send your resume to this mail id. I’ll see what I can do”.   

After this short intro, each time we bumped into at TS, or at Citibank waiting ward or at Vidyamandir, we exchanged a brief hello or a stifled smile or just nodded to acknowledge cognition. We did not recognize each other for the first 6 months and now we spoke at every opportunity. Her mails were exhaustive and slowly she getting into my system.

Anitha was younger to me by 5 years, a BITS Pilani graduate and an MBA from IIM, Ahmedabad. She drove Esteem (in 1999!!!) and resided in palatial bungalow on Vth Avenue (I stay in VIIth!!!) and I was falling in love. She once narrated as to how she and her mother struggled – she was a lone child – after her father sudden demise. She studied on scholarships and I felt deeply affected. Now she was in a job that took her to Europe and Far East almost every month. Anitha was also a trained Hindustani singer and all these added up to an angel image in my mind. But I checked any further impulse: the gulf between us was unbridgeable. She is a high-powered executive shuffling between airports while I was a lowly job seeker.  

But I was sad; she was the first person I really wished to marry, an option I denied after the heart surgery and job losses. I mourned my own incompetence and wretched fortune. Each time I looked at Anitha a wave of envy would stab me; hers was exactly the kind of career I would have wished on myself.  

Anitha settled in USA and there has been no contact in years. Though they were whispers of her wild orgies at Fisherman Cove and those did not add to the “divine” image in my head. But I doubt the veracity of those; any person who heard Swamiji’s lectures, or walked in TS must be intrinsically decent.

Verdict: Rajas

Lesson to be learnt: If those whispers are true then I must learn not to generalize. I made a similar error with PW where Ph.D and social scientist just did not add up.